What Not To Tweet

9 Things You Really Don't Have to Share on TwitterTwitter: the 140 character messaging service where you can share as much or as little of your life as you want. Everybody's at it, from the communication executive of a multinational to your Granny, if you haven't heard of Twitter you must have been living in a cave for the last 4 or 5 years. Twitter is now one of the most popular social websites, and like anything popular, it can often be abused by people who just don't have a clue. In order to help the said clueless Twitter users, I have put together a list of nine things you really should not post on Twitter.

1- Do not tweet your bowel movements: Don't be like the Irish celebrity who recently posted on their Twitter account the fact that they had their first bowel movement in 4 days. Nobody cares, and you will be embarrassed when you read your Twitter page a few days later.

2- Do not tweet about dogs pooing in your garden: I admit I am guilty of that one but instead, politely pay a visit to your neighbours (preferably the owners of the dogs that have been fouling your garden) to let them know about the problem. If your neighbours tell you to f*** off and hit you over the head with a baseball bat, then maybe you can share your story after recovering from brain damage.

3- Do not tweet "Good morning" or "Good night". If you have nothing interesting to post on your Twitter, go for a walk or just go to bed, you don't have to tell the world about it. Also, if you live in a different time zone as some of your Twitter followers, they'll think you're just a nutcase for saying Good morning to them when it's 3pm where they are.

4- Do not tweet what you've had to eat: who care if you've been eating a slice of carrot on a bed of rocket salad leaves? Get a life and let me eat my greasy double cheeseburger and chips in peace. Unless you are posting a link to a really good recipe that I might want to try myself (no posh lean recipes for skinny people please, I want real food!), then I really don't care.

9 Things You Really Don't Have to Share on Twitter

Twitter: the 140 character messaging service where you can share as much or as little of your life as you want. Everybody's at it, from the communication executive of a multinational to your Granny, if you haven't heard of Twitter you must have been living in a cave for the last 4 or 5 years. Twitter is now one of the most popular social websites, and like anything popular, it can often be abused by people who just don't have a clue. In order to help the said clueless Twitter users, I have put together a list of nine things you really should not post on Twitter.

1- Do not tweet your bowel movements: Don't be like the Irish celebrity who recently posted on their Twitter account the fact that they had their first bowel movement in 4 days. Nobody cares, and you will be embarrassed when you read your Twitter page a few days later.

2- Do not tweet about dogs pooing in your garden: I admit I am guilty of that one but instead, politely pay a visit to your neighbours (preferably the owners of the dogs that have been fouling your garden) to let them know about the problem. If your neighbours tell you to f*** off and hit you over the head with a baseball bat, then maybe you can share your story after recovering from brain damage.

3- Do not tweet "Good morning" or "Good night". If you have nothing interesting to post on your Twitter, go for a walk or just go to bed, you don't have to tell the world about it. Also, if you live in a different time zone as some of your Twitter followers, they'll think you're just a nutcase for saying Good morning to them when it's 3pm where they are.

4- Do not tweet what you've had to eat: who care if you've been eating a slice of carrot on a bed of rocket salad leaves? Get a life and let me eat my greasy double cheeseburger and chips in peace. Unless you are posting a link to a really good recipe that I might want to try myself (no posh lean recipes for skinny people please, I want real food!), then I really don't care.



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